Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
