I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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