he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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