That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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