you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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