Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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