My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
