Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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