69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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