the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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