Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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