I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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