If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
