she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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