Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
