she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
