I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
