Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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