So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
