listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
