I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
