Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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