Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
