hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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