On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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