Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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