i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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