Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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