theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
