whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
