Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
