Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
