Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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