he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
