he wants to bone in the snuggie
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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