are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
