She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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