and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He better not be in your backpack
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
