i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
