so explain again why im purple
no
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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