Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
