You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
