that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
