3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You have to summon your inner elephant
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
