Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
