I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
