my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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