Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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