We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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