I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
